404 badoom

404 -- the most annoying three number combination.
666 actually seems more tolerable right now. :|

Before I start the incessant and incoherent rating, let us first look at the good old days that led to this unfortunate despise for those numbers.

I've wanted to become a real scientist/researcher since high school, and little by little it seems to be a feasible career option.

By definition, a researcher is some one who researches. Okay, redundancy.. :| But that's the simplest way I can phrase it, so everyone's pretty much a researcher. But I wanted to be like... a mad scientist.. Dr. Frankenstein-like. just kidding. :P I wanted to be a genetic engineer which is why I took BS Bio.

Anyway, since my graduation last April, I've been the unofficial research associate of my undergraduate adviser. I wanted to give my brain a rest for a semester so I just worked as a part-time RA in my alma mater and saved the MS headaches for the second sem. Part-time work = part-time pay, i.e. below minimum. I had nothing to complain about since my boss gave me Wednesdays off and at least, my travel expenses, which comprised a big chunk of my money efflux, were covered so I didn't have to depend on my parents for allowance. Supposedly, 65% of my income went to saving, but a girl's gotta live a little, right? So I ended up having around 40-50% left to deposit in the bank. Okay, fine, one time it was like 10%. What? It was an "emergency". LOL

My professor's current project will end this December, so that's also when my part-time RA gig would conclude. But wait... there's more! She pitched another related project to another institution and in her proposal she included the budget for 1 URA. I was super ecstatic when she asked me if I wanted to continue as an OFFICIAL URA! I wanted to jump and down like a silly little boy. hahaha To avoid confusion and aid you in understanding the sudden peak in my happy hormones back then, I'll explain what URA would imply. URA means university research assistant 1. The institute officially hires you as one of their own researchers and, though the compensation isn't too high, it is much much MUCH better than below minimum. Benefits and tax and all... Ugh... tax. There goes a third of my future salary. Oh wow, it landed on some small moled lady's pocket. How odd. :))

The proposal was approved and I was going to be officially unemployed soon! Wheeeeeee. BUT... I had to submit certain requirements to the head institution which included an NBI clearance, medical exam (blood test AGAIN?! *cringe*) , and civil service examination (CSE) among others. I had to complete the requirements preferably by December, January at most, because the research committee needed to meet about hiring researchers and budget stuff that December plus there was an election or hiring ban next March since election was coming up.

BTW, The CSE is a test people that intend to work in government or government-owned institutions must take. It's composed of different parts which include math, vocabulary, reading comprehension, the Philippines constitution, current events, etc. that come in 2 languages: English and Filipino (dun dun dun... dedo). It supposedly ensure the "quality of government employees". Pfft... They should make erap and edu manzano take it.

First, I needed to reserve a slot for the exam. It's first come first serve, so I was already staring at the computer by 12nn, constantly click the URL and waiting for link to open. The reservation comes once a month at most and usually lands on the 3rd Monday of the month. Reservations start at 1pm. By 1pm, when I tapped the link to reserve a slot, I kept getting the dreaded 404 Not Found error. Apparently, the large influx of users accessing the site was causing the error, so I had to keep clicking the URL. Frustration began to abound. I even asked Annie if I was the only one experiencing this error, but she said you just had to keep refreshing. She already got her slot at 1:05, and by that time only 80 out of 140 slots were left. Everytime... it was 404!!! She offered to help me my trying to refresh and register for me if she managed to penetrate the site. Eureka! I saw the heading of the reservation page start to appear. Oh wow... 120 seconds later... still the heading. I Ieft it to load but after 3 mins, still no progress. I opened another page, another 404!!! I was slowly dying inside. Suddenly, annie was asking me what my middle name was etc, the stuff needed to fill out the reservation form, so I was slightly relieved. She submitted the form and I was like all smiles and "yey"s, but then she said "wait..." Holy crap. I hate it when people say that after something seemingly positive. It's like telling a patient, "You don't have breast cancer. Wait... Sorry, apparently, it's brain cancer. You'll be dead in a week." She said... "Zero slots na daw." I wanted to sob, rip something, bite my nail off (okay, iew... that went too far). What the fudge?! No slots?! NOOOOOOOOO. This cannot be! My eyes were filling up with tears but I couldn't blink lest they start streaming down my face. Someone else was in the lab with me so I didn't want them to think I was some weirdo crying over some website. But... but... I was mad... then in denial. I didn't want to believe it was true. There goes the assurance of my URA position next year. Bye bye salary increase... Bye bye real job :(( I was dazed. Blank stare, eyes flooded with saline water waiting to spill.

I left the lab with a to try to call the office giving the CSEs and do some other stuff to keep me from dwelling on my slot loss. I got to call the head office and the clerk told me to just wait for their next announcements or wait for March exams. WTH?! March? I can't wait that long. I pleaded with the person on the other line, begging them, asking them if there was any possibility of getting slots or getting waitlisted for disqualified applicants. She told me that the slots they offered already included allowances, or slots that would "salo" if someone got booted. So, in other words, "go away. wag ka na makulit. wala ka nang pag-asa." *sigh* I had no other choice, but to wait for their next announcement. Maybe God really doesn't want me to be a URA.... is he punishing me or does me want me to do something else? I didn't know. I was and still am confused.

I've bookmarked the CSE website. Hope that by December, I'd get a slot for January, or better yet, by some miracle of God, a new December exam would open.

*sigh* *cough*